Because I am starting "fresh" on this page, I will be changing and adding pics, etc. In addition, I will be posting updates about different aspects in my life.
Today I am posting an update about my spiritual life because I feel it is the most important.
Up until about a month ago, I had not attended church regularly since going to FBWH about 10 years ago. After we left the church, I had a hard time finding a church with the environment that I was used to. After visiting a few with my mom, I just lost the desire to attend. Eventually, the thought of church just never crossed my mind. I grew very far from God and at hard times during my life, have even questioned whether his existence is real. If He is real, why are these things happening to me? Everyone would tell me "God doesn't give you mountains you can't climb" or things like that. Honestly, those sayings did not make me feel any better.
When we lived in Needville while I was pregnant with Tayler, my mother-in-law took Colton to church several times. He absolutely loved it. I knew I should go and take him, but it just was not something I was ready to do, especially alone. (Kyle works on Sundays so he would be unable to attend with me.) So, I never went.
Between being a full time student, mother and wife, I found myself down and lost. The stress from school and exhaustion from being a mother left me no time for "me." I have a hard time figuring out who I am other being a mom. I was just sad. I knew there was an answer but just didn't know what it was. But I was open to answers.
During the second week of February, I took our dog to the vet a few minutes down the street. On the way I passed a church with a huge sign that grand opening service was scheduled for Feb. 14th. I thought to myself "Hmmm, I wonder what kind of church that is? Maybe I should go." With my heart open to an answer about my life, I went home and looked them up online. They had a lot that I was looking for. I did not notice a religion so I assumed they were non-denominational.
On Saturday February 13th, the kids went to bed about 2 hours after their usual bedtime. I was so tired the next morning and did not feel like going to church. I decided I would not go. While I was cooking breakfast, I decided to look through the stack of mail Kyle brought in the evening before. Guess what was in the stack of mail? A flyer from the church I had planned on going to! I thought to myself "
Wow. Is this a sign? Is God trying to tell me I need to go?" I thought about going but didn't think I had enough time. It was about 9:30 am and service starts at 10:30. I thought to myself "Do I have time to get dressed?" I seriously heard a voice "Come as you are." Their website had advertised to come as you are, that they are a very casual church. I felt like God was telling me to come and that he would not judge me for my appearance. So I got the kids changed real quick and threw on some clothes.
As I drove there, my eyes kept filling with tears. When I pulled in the parking lot, my eyes filled with tears. It had been so long since I had been to church. How did I stray from being the person who loved the awana program to someone who never even thinks about God? It didn't matter. I decided that day to make a change.
So, I got the kids registered and checked in and took my seat. My first comment is I LOVED the church service. Instead of a choir that sings out of hymn books, there was a live band with contemporary music and words written on big screens. Everyone was casually dressed which I loved. The pastor referenced the Bible and used Bible verses but he broke the verses down after into every day language for us to understand. His sermon related to every day situations. That week was about making margin in your life to
be able to hear God speak to you. What a coincidence given my morning!
My second comment is... My life changed that morning. When I was 6 years old, I accepted Christ into my life but for the past several years, he has not been in my life and I have not lived a Christ-like life. That morning,
I asked Christ to come into my life again and to forgive me of all of my sins.
I have been to church every morning since then. The sermons have been great and have really helped me in finding myself, becoming happier and how to become a better mother and wife. I feel like I have had a huge weight lifted off of my shoulder. Since then, I have heard and seen God answer some of my prayers. I am so excited for this journey.
In addition,
I have decided to serve the Lord. Because I cannot give much money, I have decided to give my time. The church will be going to 2 services in 2 weeks and they need a lot of volunteers to aid in this transition. I have signed up to volunteer in the children's ministry. I felt a calling and I am going to take. I am not sure where this will take me or if God is trying to guide me in life, but I working with children is how I plan on spending the rest of my life in my career. Maybe God has a plan to use my knowledge in other ways. May not. I don't know, but I am excited to find out. Instead of requesting a time to serve and a specific age group, I have asked them to put me in the time slot and with the age group that they most need people. So, I will be starting in the 12-24 month age range since I have experience with small children.
That is all for now. If you read this, thank you for taking the time to do so. I will post updates on other aspects of my life over the next few days.
Also, something I have decided to do is at the end of my posts, I will post a prayer request. This is something I am currently praying about. It might be broad, it might be detailed. You might understand it, you might not. But either way, it is one of the things in my life I am praying for.
My Prayer Request: For those who have strayed from the Lord to open their hearts to the Lord again as I have, to open their ears to hear Him. Life is so beautiful on the other side and I hope to be joined one day. Love,
Tammy
Well, my plans were to post several times a week, but I quickly forgot when I became busy with school after Spring Break.
