Exposing Myself to the World

Note: This is a long, extremely personal post. I am trying to lose weight on my own, without a "diet" buddy, without a workout buddy, without support from anyone. Answering solely to myself has not really worked for me in the past. I can stop losing weight and no one will ever notice. So, I have decided to make myself extremely vulnerable to you and anyone else who reads my blog. I have decided to let you into one of the most sensitive areas of my life. I feel like if I expose myself to the world, I will hold myself more accountable to follow through with changing myself.

Have you, or anyone you know, struggled with gaining and losing weight? I have ever since I became a mother, but mainly since I had Tayler 18 months ago.

I am a stay at home mom and ever since June, all of my college classes have been completely online. I haven't really had to get "dressed" for anything. Therefore, I hardly ever do my hair and makeup so I hardly ever look in the mirror. In addition, since I am always at home, my clothes are always comfy clothes with elastic waists. They stretch. Thus, I never grow out of my pants. As I evaluate my life, I think this has been a contributing factor to allowing myself to gain weight.

As I have gained weight, I have noticed the scale steadily moving up. However, I never really felt like I looked like I had gained a lot. A few months ago, I had to go buy a pair of slacks. I was shocked at what size I had to get. I didn't understand because I didn't feel like I looked like I was that size. Even though the scale was moving up and I had to buy a very big size (a size I have never gotten close to seeing before) it still wasn't hitting me how big I had gotten. I didn't think that I looked like I was that big.

It was not until I saw the following pictures of myself did I see and realize just how far I had let myself go. I am extremely embarassed to share these pictures, but this is me now. I cannot tell you how many times I have looked at this picture and asked myself "Is that REALLY what I look like!?!?" After seeing these pictures of myself, I knew I had to make a change.

(These pictures were taken last month when my husband and I took our kids to Sea World in San Antonio for my son's birthday.)

I have sat down and evaluated my life. How did this happen? How did I gain so much weight? These are the things I have come up with as reasons why I have gained so much weight.

- stress

- exhaustion

- lack of energy

- lack of time

- lack of a routine

- always putting everyone else before me

This past year has been very hard on me. I feel like I sacrified my health to be able to be a full time student from home and raise two small children.

In the past, I have tried several different diets. They were a quick fix, but they didn't teach me how to eat healthy longterm. I was never really taught how to cook. I have spent the past 2 weeks and will spend the next 2 weeks learning how to eat healthy, what to eat, how much of each food groups to eat, how to cook delicious but healthy food, etc.

In my last post, I wrote that one of my goals for 2011 is to lose 80 pounds. Another goal that I have is to lose 55 pounds by the time I graduate, which is May 14th.

As the top of my blog states, this is a journal of my life. I need to hold myself accountable and I feel like blogging about what I am going through will help me because I know someone somewhere out there is reading what I write.

So, what I would like to do is do a weekly or bi-weekly "weigh in" update on my progress. How much weight I have lost that week, any struggles that I had, any accomplishments, etc. From time to time, I would also like to post pictures of noticeable changes.

If you got to the end of this post, I appreciate the time you took to read this and I look forward to sharing my future progress with you. Thank you for holding me accountable. :)

Love,

Tammy

To Health & Happiness

This past year, my goal was to lose weight. At the beginning of the year, I did follow a diet but only for about 2 months. Unfortunately, I gained all of the weight back, plus some extra.

2010 has been a very hard, stressful and exhausting year for Kyle and I. This coming year, my overall goal is not to lose weight. My goal for 2011 is to live a happier and healthier life.

In 2011, I would like to get in a regular routine. I want to include exercise into my daily routine, which will serve as much needed "me" time, as well as spend more quality time with my kids. I want to learn how to cook healthy but delicious meals. With learning how to cook and exercising daily, I should be able to lose the weight that I desperately need to lose. By not commiting myself to a "diet" but to a healthy lifestyle, I hope to reach my personal goal of losing 80 pounds.

I would also like to tackle our cluttered and unorganized home and keep it clean and organized. I would like to teach my children to clean up after themselves by modeling that behavior. I would also like to finish painting and decorating our home. I feel like these things will allow us to feel more relaxed and at peace while at home.

I would also like to find a church that we can call home.

I will be graduating with my Bachelor's Degree in May so I would like to get a job for the 2011-2012 school year and begin working in August, if not sooner. Not only will this give me a sense of independence, but it will also significantly help with the stress over money, or lack of. Having a full time job outside of the home will also aid in the development of a routine as well as keeping our home clean. I have felt like, since becoming a stay at home mom/student, I have become lost and don't know who I am anymore, other than being a mother and wife. Being a working mom is not what all women desire but I think that it is a challenge that I need, and will make me happier.

So, my goal for 2011 is to live a happier and healthier life than I lived in 2010.

I am looking very forward to 2011 as I know it will bring a lot of changes that we have been hoping for.

Do you have anything you are looking forward to in 2011?

My 2nd Quilt!

I FINALLY finished Colton's quilt! His is much larger than Tayler's so it took quite a bit of time...

Front: It has only been washd once so the more it is washed, the more freyed and fluffier it will get.

Back: flat like a regular quilt.

It is REALLY difficult to find boy's prints. I wanted to do blues and greens but they all seemed girly with flowery types of prints. Good for a baby, but not for a little boy. So, that it why I decided on a Cars theme with mix and match soft solids.

My 1st Quilt

A few months back, I decided that I wanted to make Tayler a quilt for Christmas. She LOVES blankets and has to carry one EVERYWHERE we go! but she doesn't have any big blankets. Now that it has been cold outside, I have had to cover her up at night with a throw blanket. I really wanted her to have a quilt but one that matches her pink and brown room.

Sometimes when I am looking for inspiration, I go to Google Pictures. That is what I did - I googled quilts. I discovered something called a rag quilt and knew this was what I wanted to do! Cute and fluffy, not boring like a lot of quilts. Below was the result, my very first attempt at making a quilt.

It has only been washed once so the more it is washed, the more freyed and fluffier it will get.

(her name is on the bottom right hand square)

Below: The backside of the quilt.

Skill Level: Easy

Time: A LOT

Colton's quilt coming soon...

Kyle and I aren't doing much this year for Christmas. With being heavily in debt to school as well still trying to recover from Kyle being out of work for several months due to his injury, we decided to keep Christmas small and simple this year. We got a few gifts for the kids and decided not to exchange gifts between ourselves. But, I was able to give myself one gift, with the help of Colton, and honestly, it is the BEST gift.

Colton painted a pumpkin free handed at school in October. Out of all of the kids in his class, his was honestly one of the best paintings, if not the best. I thought he did such a great job that I wanted to turn it into an art piece for our home. Since Hobby Lobby is running a 50% off frame sale, Kyle and I picked out the frame for only $10!

I love homemade, handmade gifts. I think they are the BEST types of gifts to both give and get. There is something really special when someones time is put into the gift. Even though Christmas will be very small this year for us, I think this is the best gift I could have gotten, my son's artistic skills displayed in our home. :)

Merry Christmas

1st Week Weight Loss Results

Last week I made a post about a few new cookbooks that I had gotten. Like many people, I have tried several diets... Atkins, Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, etc. And like many people, I gain the weight back after.

My new approach to weight loss this time around is to develop a healthy lifestyle. Saying you are "on a diet" insinuates you will eventually get "off" that diet. I need to learn how to be healthy so that it can be a lifelong change, not just something I do for a few months. I also need to teach my children good eating habits while they are young and also allow them to grow up in a home where we cook fresh meals so that they will know how to cook when they are my age.

I have committed this month that I am not in school to two things 1. cleaning my house :) and 2. learning how to cook healthy meals.

Last Sunday I started on this new journey. I weighed in this morning and am happy to announce that I have lost 5 1/2 pounds. :) Although it's not the huge numbers viewed on The Biggest Loser, I am not on The Biggest Loser. 5 1/2 pounds is 5 1/2 pounds towards my goal!

I am trying to remember that it took more than a month to put on this weight and it's going to take more than a month to take it off. Also, the faster I lose it the greater chance I will have at getting saggy skin, something that I do not care to get. :)

So, I am pleased to announce that while losing those 5 1/2 pounds this week, I did not deprive myself. I didn't tell myself "You can't have that." I ate bread. I ate dessert. I just did it in a healthy, portion controlled manner. And honestly, the food I ate this week was so much more delicious than what I had been eating.

My goal for this past week was to cook and eat healthy meals. My goal for this next week is to incorporate exercise into my day at least 5 days of the week. (This past week I only exercised twice.)

I CAN DO THIS! and if you are wanting to lose weight, YOU CAN DO THIS TOO!

P.S. I am not a picky eater but two things I have always refused to eat is sweet potatoes and cottage cheese. I am excited to say that I have tried both and love them! I now eat cottage cheese on a daily basis!

Oh, something else I wanted to share: I read that it takes 21 days to form a habit to where your body craves something. So, if you are like me and trying to lose weight, if you can give up something for 21 days, you will no longer crave it. If you start eating healthy and exercise for 21 days, you will form a habit!

The Results Are In....

I once again was able to pull off all A's this semester!!

While being at The University of Houston-Victoria the past 2 1/2 years, I have been able to make all A's except for 2 B's. (Out of 18 courses, I made A's in 16 of them!) Thus, I will be graduating with TOP HONORS.

There are 3 levels of honors a student can get (not everyone graduates with one of these): cum laude, magna cum laude, and summa cum laude. I will be graduating summa cum laude, which requires a gpa (grade point average) of at least 3.85 out of 4.0.

Yay for me! My hard work, sleepless nights, messy home and lack of free time have allowed me to obtain this achievement!

What happens...?

What doesn't break you only makes you stronger.

When you've hit rock bottom, there is no where to go but up.

Good things come to those who wait.

Have you every heard these sayings before? What happens if you are broken? What happens if you don't go up? And what if good things don't come?

I am so tired of bad things happening. When will it be my chance to have good luck or have good things happen to me? At what point is it my turn to be happy? At want point does karma come around and reward me for being a good, caring, lovingm hard working person? At what point will I have shed enough tears?

(These are all rhetorical questions, meaning they do not need an answer. This is a journal of my current thoughts and feelings.)

Cookies with Santa

Today our neighborhood hosted a "Cookies with Santa" event. We decided to take the kids because it was close and convenient, as well as free. Using my own camera and getting the pics printed sure does beat the price at the mall.

Tayler wanted nothing to do with Santa. She clung to me as I tried to sit her down. Colton was so excited before we got there and then when it was turn, he was extremely shy. He hid behind my leg, would not talk to Santa and wouldn't even look towards him! He kept his head buried in the opposite shoulder. Luckily I was able to get him to turn his head to be able to get one picture. (I would have been so upset if I had waited in line for an hour and got no pictures!!)



I would also like to add, there is something very disturbing about the fact that we all went to see Santa wearing shorts!!

The Biggest Loser

Are you a fan of The Biggest Loser? I am! It is one of my favorite shows. It is amazing to me how people can lose so much weight just by eating properly and exercising.

Now that school is finished, I won't be super stressed out and exhausted all the time. I can start going to bed at a decent time and even have time to exercise! I feel like my life finally has time to welcome the challenge of losing weight. Even though I will still be in school next semester, things will be a lot different. I won't be sitting at home on my butt all day at the computer and going to sleep at crazy hours of the night. I will have a regular work-type schedule and I will be on my feet all day. I also won't be able to munch whenever I feel like it.

I feel like one of the reasons I have not been successful at losing it weight is because I never learned how to cook. There are a few things I know how to cook, but not much. I already have The Biggest Loser Cookbook but I wanted more options. So, I purchased a few new cheap cookbooks. As I have been looking through the ingredients on a lot of the recipes, I have noticed that a lot of them have similar ingredients and very few ingredients. I didn't know cooking could be so easy! So, I am really excited to start this new journey in my life next week.

Below are the cookbooks that I will be using to start this weight loss journey. (I purchased them from Amazon.com because they were much cheaper and also offered free shipping.)

This is the cookbook that I already had that I will be using:

Most of the recipes in this book (below) are for 4 servings, which is perfect for us. :) (I am going to try and get Kyle to eat healthy too... keyword: try :) )

I am especially excited about this book (below)!!! If you are a sweet eater like me, you can imagine why I am so excited!

I have not looked at this one yet but it is by the same author as The Biggest Loser cookbooks so I am hoping it will be good, and easy as advertised. It says it is for the super busy and that is going to be me in about a month when I start student teaching!

I never thought I would be so excited about cooking and eating healthy, I think because I never knew how to make healthy taste good and not be boring. I am going to try and plan menus for a week at a time and if possible prepare ahead, especially next semester, so that I don't have to do a lot when I get home.

I'm Done!

I'm done! I'm done! I'm done! I am officially done with my course work!!! Now all I have to do is my student teaching and I can graduate! I think I might have to do a happy dance!!! Now I just have to wait to see what my final grades will be...

P.S. Still trying to get my placement for student teaching changed. It is going to be tought, stressful journey getting things changed so please keep me in your thoughts.

Student Teaching

It is with bittersweetness that I am able to announce that I have received my student teaching placement for next semester.

The person over the school district had asked me where I would like to be placed. I had my first choice and also requested to be in any of the schools on this side of the district. The reasoning was because I am having to take out student loans to pay for childcare and gas since I will be basically working for free. Even though student teaching is a 40 hour work week, the class load is (for some odd reason) considered part time, so my aid package was lowered since I will not be a full time student.

Well, today I got my placement and I am not on the side of the district that I live on. In fact, I am on the complete opposite side. It is a little disappointing and frustrating and I am definitely worried about the long drive and the cost of gas, especially since I will not be making a paycheck to compensate for it. I am trying to stay positive and hope that the Lord has good plans for me and that there is a good reason I have been placed so far.

I will be student teaching in 3rd and 5th grade which I am very excited about. :)

UPDATE: I am currently trying to get my placements changed. I am so irritated. They placed me in math-only classes for my 60 days of student teaching. I will have a generalist certification, which means I will be certified to teach ALL subjects, which means I NEED to know how to teach ALL subjects, not just math. This is not going to benefit me and not look good when I try to get a job and I only have experience teaching math. If I wanted a degree in math I would have gotten one. So, I am currently fighting to get it changed. I don't understand how they even thought this would be okay? GRRR

Just Checking In

Hello All,
Words to describe the past week and the upcoming week... stressful, exhausting and crazy.

For the past few nights, I have been up between 2-4:30am trying to get school work done. As I am approaching the end of my semester, so many things are due all at the same time. I am officially in panic mode!! I know that I WILL be graduating with Honors. However, there are 3 levels of honors. In order for me to get the top honor, I have to make all A's this semester. One class is finished and it was an A! So, now I need 4 more. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers that I can have the mental and physical strength to keep pushing hard and get through this next week.

I will update you as soon as I know where my grades stand....

Love,
Tammy

Busy Busy Busy

I have been extremely busy with school so I haven't had much time to post. :( I have about 3 weeks of school left so I am trying to play catch up with the assignments I pushed to the side. I hope to post more in the next couple of weeks.

I am excited to announce that this morning I registered for my LAST set of classes!! I will be student teaching in January and graduating in May!! This morning I registered for my student teaching courses.

Hopefully in the next few weeks I will be able to let you all know if I will be graduating with Honors and if so which level. Also hoping to find out my student teaching placements as well in the next few weeks.

Reminder!

Please don't forget to follow me at my new blog: http://www.threadedthingsbytammy.blogspot.com

I will still be using this blog for personal posts and I will be using my new blog to post various handmade projects that I have done.

Halloween & Colton's Birthday

So much has been going on lately I have had practically no time to post pictures! I have been crazy busy with school as the end of the semester is approaching. My mom took Colton and I to Shrek Live, we had our first real Halloween and Colton's 4th birthday! We opted to not to a birthday party so we spent the same amount of money and took Colton to San Antonio for the weekend. :) Below is a few pictures to recap the past few weeks... Above: At Shrek Live (I would also like to add that I think Colton looks a lot like me in this picture... Quite frankly I am tired of everyone saying my children "look just like Kyle.")

Colton as Woody from Toy Story and Tayler as a little Halloween fairy. (She refused to wear the wings or shoes.)

Colton was so excited, he kept running and got tripped up in his cowboy boots and went face first into the concrete. It scabbed pretty bad the next few days but is better now.

Since this is the first year that we took Colton trick-or-treating and handed out candy (and it is the first time that I can remember be able to celebrate Halloween) I had to at least dress up a little bit!

The Birthday Boy!
Last Friday, Colton turned 4!

Since we did not do a birthday party for Colton at the house, we did a mini party at his pre-school. They all sang happy birthday and I gave the kids toy story decorated brownies and a toy story themed goody bag (which Colton passed out.) Also, in the picture, to the right of Colton you may notice another special child... Tayler! She sat at the table and was so well behaved. She fit right in with the big kids.
When we got home, we did cake, presents and packed to get read for our trip to San Antonio! (These pictures will have to come later because I am quite tired after posting all of these!)

Below: Blowing out the candles on his strawberry cake with chocolate icing (Hey, it's what he wanted!) Toy Story themed cake.

Below: Colton with some of his gifts..




Colton LOVES puzzles so we got him a panoramic puzzle. It is 3 seperate puzzles but they all fit together. One is "easy" one is "medium" and one is more difficult.

Colton loves anything educational. He especially loved this V-Tech educational texter. It has various activities with letters and numbers.

Isn't this face just priceless!?!? This was when he opened his Toy Story flashlight. :)

Colton has the game Hungry Hungry Hippos but he hardly gets to play it because Tayler likes to try and eat the balls. So, when I saw the travel game, I knew he would love it! All of the pieces are enclosed in a plastic shell.

"Colton, do you like all of your presents?"

"Yeeeeeeeaaaaah!"

An additional blog

Hi all,
Just wanted to let you know that I started a new blog. I will still be using this blog for personal posts so please make sure you keep following it! I have created an additional blog at...

http://threadedthingsbytammy.blogspot.com/

Here, I will post various handmade projects. Several people have mentioned I should post the things that I make so this will be a start. So, please make sure you follow that one so you can see the new posts on your blogger dashboard!

Love,
Tammy

P.S. LOTS and LOTS of pictures coming soon, as soon as I have time!!

Sneak Peek...

Here is a sneak peek at Tayler's Halloween costume...

As some of you may, or may not, know, a few months ago, I began making tutus. After seeing how cheaply made the tutus in the store are, I was inspired by my daughter to make my own tutus for her. Tayler is going to be a halloween fairy for Halloween. I purchased the shirt and then I made the tutu to match.

Can't wait to post pics of her entire costume at the end of next week!

Stay tuned...

It's Time For a Change

I have been going through a lot of emotional dilemmas this week.

I have been praying about my place in the small group (Bible Study) that I joined. I just haven't really felt like I fit in and have questioned myself, and the Lord, if it is right for me. Without going in to details, I feel like I have been given several signs telling me that it is not the right fit for me. So, I am no longer attending that. It is kind of bitter sweet but I know I will find my place eventually.

I have been really down lately about my weight. I have to go to school tomorrow to do a presentation for a class that I have. I wanted to make sure I had pants that fit and sure enough, I didn't. I went to the store and got 2 different sizes to try on. Neither fit. I had to go even bigger. I saw the size that I never thought I would see on myself. So I started thinking about how this has happened. I have been wearing the same clothes for months. I realized the problem is that I never get dressed up. I have all online classes. Kyle and I never go out because Tayler is just too difficult in public settings. So, I wear lounge clothes all the time. Lounge clothes have elastic... there is a problem. Also, since I never get dressed up, I really don't look in the mirror too often... Another problem. I didn't realize what I look like.

I am so sleep deprived and stressed out from school and the kids that I guess I let myself go. I never have "me" time so I definitely don't have time to exercise nor the energy to cook. But I have now realized that I have to make time. Instead of staying up late to watch shows that we have recorded, I need to go to bed early so I can wake up before the kids and exercise. I have to make the changes in my lifestyle if I want the changes in my body to happen.

I purchased a couple of work out videos in hopes they would motivate me to start working out on my own with the exercise equipment sitting in my dining room that was purchased earlier this year. I purchased 2 Jillian Michaels videos.. a 20 minute and a 30 minute. I figured there is no reason I cannot do a 20 minute video. I need baby steps so I thought this would be the perfect motivation. I hope I'm right.

I have also been trying to compile menus so that when I am hungry, I know exactly what to eat because I have already calculated the food groups and calories.

I am doing this completely on my own, which is one reason why I think I am having such a hard time. Kyle, although he has gained a few pounds, can lose them quickly. I, on the other hand, have about 75 pounds to lose. So it is a bigger deal for me. It is definitely hard living with someone who loves junk food. It has been much harder having Kyle home the past few months. Don't get me wrong, I love the time with him, but I don't love the results of the meals we eat together. So, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers that I can find the strength within myself to take control of my life and lose the weight that I need to lose to be a healthy person.

I know it only takes 2 weeks to get over cravings, it's just that those first 2 weeks are sooo hard. I am starting tomorrow so wish me luck!

Are you currently trying to lose weight or have you in the past? What is working for you? What didn't work for you? I would love any and all feedback.

Tammy

Neighborhood Fall Festival

This evening our neighborhood held a Fall Festival. They had several games in the parking lot, an inflatable slide, a moonwalk (which we did not allow Colton to get in because there were way too many kids in it and I didn't want my baby getting hurt.) They had free candy and gadgets for prizes, gave away water, capri suns, chips and cookies. Chick-fil-a also had a booth where they gave out free 6 pack of chicken nuggets. Colton had a great time and the best parts were that it was right down the street and it was free. :)

Colton climbing up the huge slide. Such a big boy!

Going down the slide!

Tayler choosing a lolipop from the lolipop tree.

She was content the entire times on my hip, watching everyone and sucking on her lolipop. 40 minutes later I got myself a great arm workout but hey, beats chasing her!!

My kiddos :)

Fishing for a duck. His had a 3 on the bottom so he got 3 prizes.

Digging for bones!

Tattoo!

Colton enjoyed his gadgets while Tayler enjoyed the candy!

..continued

I finally figured out to take the flash off of my camera so here is a picture of the house at night! (See previous post for more details.)

My First Time...

... To Celebrate Halloween!!!

As many of you may, or may not, know, growing up, I was not allowed to celebrate Halloween. It was against my mom's religious beliefs like most other people in the church that I grew up in. My mom says we did celebrate it for a few years but I was too young to remember. I do have memories of Halloween...

Sitting in the dark with no lights on and having to be quiet.

My nana sending over a brown paper bag full of candy every years for us. (She always threw in a few pieces of fruit, too... I think to keep my mom happy. :) )

My dad hanging ghosts made out of sheets from the tree in the front yard just to made my mom mad.

Well, not that I am married and we have children of our own, Kyle and I have started new traditions.

Last year we went to the pumpkin patch and each got a pumpkin. We came home and carved them too! Colton helped pull all the "guts" out and Kyle baked pumpkin seeds that Colton LOVED. That was the first time I had ever carved a pumpkin. When we mentioned going this year Colton said "Yeah and we can eat the "punkin" seeds too!" This is something we plan to do every Fall. :)

We have always dressed Colton up for Halloween (as well as Tayler last year) but Colton was never old enough to understand what was going on so we didn't really "celebrate" Halloween. This year, I will for the first time that I can remember, be celebrating Halloween. We will be dressing the kids up and taking them Trick-or-Treating. I must say, I am pretty excited! I feel all giddy like a 10 year old!

I know different people have different beliefs and I respect those beliefs. But now that I am old enough to decide for myself, I have decided that our family will celebrate Halloween. I am not choosing to dress up as the devil or worship the devil. I am choosing to let my children celebrate in a holiday where they can dress up and be whatever they want for one day of the year and get lots of candy!!

So in the spirit of celebrating Halloween, we have made our home very Trick-or-Treater friendly! Below are pictures of our home. (I have to add, while I am laughing out loud right now, that the entire time I was doing the spider webs, I was chuckling in my mind having all sorts of rebellious thoughts and feelings.

Our door mat :)

Giant spiders!

(Colton does NOT like these!)

This ghost, when turned on, is activated by sound and "flies" from tree to tree howling.

Happy Halloween!


We also switched our porch lights with orange lights :)


If you are looking for cheap decorations (and candy), Walgreens is literally HALF the price of Party City.

What a horrible week

We have had a not-so-nice stomach bug come through our house this past week.

Last Saturday night at about 10pm, Colton woke up and came to the living room very upset, covered in throw up. From then until 4am, I managed to do 5 loads of laundry - all his bedding. During those 6 hours, Colton got sick in his bed 5 times, so I was constantly rotating the 2 sets of bedding. He could not keep any food or juice down. The next day he seemed to be feeling better so we decided to run an errand, but I brought a bag with us just in case. Good thing because he got sick again. So, Saturday night until Sunday at about 5pm, he was sick. I kept him home on Monday from pre-school just to make sure it had passed and he wasn't contagious anymore. I guess I am more considerate than other parents because I heard other parents talking about how their kids were throwing up the day before. Don't people realize they should be well at least 24 hours to not be contagious? GRR. Colton is learning so much but sometimes I wonder if all the germs he is bringing home is worth it.

So, Monday was all good. Kyle is back on worker's comp because he is still having problems with his knee. So, I left him and Tayler asleep on Tuesday while I took Colton to school. When I got back, I could hear Tayler starting to make noises as she was awake. When I opened her door, I knew by the smell it would not be a good day. As I approached her bed, her and her bed were covered in bodily fluids. Tayler was sick until Wednesday morning. She was able to keep down food, unlike Colton, but no milk. I took a trip to the store to get some pedialyte on Tuesday and she and Kyle came with. (Kyle cannot handle throw-up. I swear, if men were the ones having babies there would be no babies! ha) So, Tayler got sick on the way to the store. :( Since it was Kyle's bright idea to take a family trip to the store, he got to clean the carseat. :) Luckily, she was able to hold down the pedialyte and recovered quickly.

The rest of Wednesday and Thursday were all good. Woohoo! The virus has passed! Well, not quite yet...

Friday night, about 10pm, I became very nauseous. I was sick all night until about 4am. It was awful. Yesterday, Saturday, I slept 4am-noon (8 hours), then 1-5 (4 hours) then 6-10 (4 hours) and then 12-9 this morning (9 hours.) I still have a very bad headache but luckily the virus has passed and I can now keep food down. The kids were also angels for Kyle and I did not hear them all day yesterday while I rested.

So, Kyle always being the one who catches things last, woke up this morning nauseous. He now has the bug and is resting between throwing up. Unfortunately, the kids are not being angels for me. I am recovering from being sick and still have a headache unlike any headache I have ever had before, so I am trying very hard to keep my patience. For some reason, the kids do not whien or cry with Kyle but with me that's all there is. So the crying and whining added with my headache added with how far behind in school work I am has made a pretty awful day so far. So, please keep me in your prayers today.

Hopefully after Kyle passes the virus it will all be over. We thought we were doing well disinfecting everything but I guess we will have to spray the entire house down with lysol since it is probably airborne.

So, we have had a stomach bug in our house for over a week now. Hopefully now that Kyle has it, it will all be gone.

Hoping for a better week this week!

Tammy

WOOO HOOOO !!!!!!!

Just wanted to share with everyone that I passed my state exam!!!!!!! To become a certified teacher, I have to take 2 state exams. I took the first one yesterday. There is a 5 hour time limit and I spent 3 1/2 hours. It was a VERY long morning. I felt very uneasy when I left. There was so many that I was unsure of or could not decide between 2 answers on. Luckily, my gut instincts paid off!

The test was scored 100-300, 300 being the highest score. Passing is 240. I got a 267! :)

These scores are public records and accessible to school administrators. I really wanted to pass the first time around so that when I am trying to get a job they would not see failing grades.

I do not have to have these tests passed right now. However, this is my last semester of courses. I will be student teaching in January and graduating in May. So, I do not want the stress of a state exam while student teaching. Also, I would really like to be state certified when I start student teaching so that I can start applying for jobs before I even graduate. It would be better for an employer to be waiting for my diploma than my certification. Or if I get lucky and the school I am student teaching at has an opening, they can hire me under contract right then. So, I am hoping to take my other state exam during the Christmas break so that all I have to do next semester is get through student teaching. '

So I am giving myself a big pat on the back right now!!

What I'm Up To

I haven't blogged much lately, for several reasons. First, I haven't had much to share. Second, I am extremely exhausted and overwhelmed with school. I thought this semester would be easy since it's my last but it has turned out to be the most difficult. I have 5 online classes and all require A LOT of reading and A LOT of assignments. In addition, I will be taking my first of 2 state exams on Monday morning. A part of me is really nervous and a part of me isn't. I am really worried about not passing since the scores are public record and my future employers can look them up. However, I have not studied as mush as I could have. So, deep down inside, even though I am nervous, I don't feel too worried about it or I would have studied a lot more. It's one of those tests... if I don't know if by now through the knowledge I have gained in my course study, then I just don't know it.

Several months ago, I blogged about how I had started going to church again. Unfortunately, I was not fully commited because after a few weeks, I stopped attending. A couple of months ago, Kyle and I did visit another church in the area. However, the experience was awful. The church was completely opposite of what we were looking for. I received a flyer in the mail a few weeks ago for the church I had been visiting for the new series that would be starting. (The blog post written directly before this one gives the summary of the first sermon in the series.) I have one word to describe the service - AMAZING! I wasn't fully committed before. I also noticed the difference in my life when I was not committed. I am now fully committed. I realize my life is better with the Lord in it and I am going to do my best to strengthen my relationship with Him.

In addition, I also signed up for a small group a few weeks ago. (Small groups are basically a Bible study.) This past Sunday was the first meeting. I really enjoyed it even though I was completely out of my comfort zone. The small group is based on the curriculum "Parenting the Early Years." They have soo many groups to choose from, but after I watched the preview for the curriculum - you can view it Here...

http://www.bluefishtv.com/Store/Retail/2927/Parenting_-_The_Early_Years_Kit_for_New_Customers/f=s1&s=parenting%20the%20early%20years

After I watched this video, I just knew this would be the perfect group for me to start in because it is something familiar to me that I can relate with other people about. Also, I figured it would be a great way for me to meet other people with small children.

Last week was just introductions and getting to know everyone. It was hard because practically everyone had their spouse with them and I did not, but I just kept thinking to myself "What bad will come out of this?" I honestly could not think of anything. Even though it is new to me, I know it will not do anything but benefit me. The first few weeks will be a study that goes in depth to what is discussed on Sunday sermon and the second half will be the parenting curriculum.

So, just wanted to share a huge step I have taken in my life. :)

Love,
Tammy

What's In Your Heart?

A few months ago, I started visiting a church down the street called Parkway Fellowship. It is completely different from what I grew up going to, which is exactly what I was looking for. A nontraditional, contemporary church with meaningul sermons that I can relate to real life. Today, the Pastor started a new series "What Lies Within." I was very moved by this sermon and am looking forward to the rest of the series. I am writing this post as a reminder/summary of the sermon today but also has an inspirational piece for those reading this who may be interested in reading it.

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9/19/10 "It All Starts in the Heart"

Matthew 12:18-19 (NIV)
But the things that come out of the mouth come from the hart, and these make a man 'unclean.' [19] For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony,s lander.

The pastor had a huge red foam heart on a stand. He then opened a box of things that people may have in their heart written on swords.... anger, jealousy, lust, greed, fear and unforgiveness. One by one he gave examples of things you may have in your heart.. something happened to you when you were helpless, someone hurt you, you are afraid and can't open up which causes insecurities, unforgiveness from someone walking out on you, you wish you had things that your friends have, you always buy things for yourself and do not think about others, married but still finding your eyes wandering?, etc. With each example, he jabbed the sword into the heart. This is what our hearts look like. We have all of these negative feelings stuck deep into our hearts. He said that all of these things can have an affect on you for the rest of your life. These feelings don't just affect you. They poison every relationship around you.

He said that when we are little, we learn to filter the things that we say. We say things and then later said "I didn't mean that" or "I don't know where that came from." The truth is... we do mean it.. and it came from our heart. When our filters start to wear thin, what comes out is a reflection of what is in our hearts. Have you ever heard someone say "He is not the person I married" or "What has gotten into you." They are the same people. The difference is you are getting a glimpse into what's really in their heart.

Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

"Guard" means to "watch over" as one watches over a vineyard or garden. If you do not attend to your garden, it would grow over with weeds. These negative things in your heart will do the same. They will take over your life and spread. We know how to filter what comes out of our hearts but we need to know how to guard out hearts from what comes INTO it. Then we don't have to worry about filtering!

How do guard your heart?
1. Get drastic about protecting what goes in.
- Keep out what's bad.
- Plant what's good.

Challenge #1: Listen to only Christian music until October 31st. (This is when the series ends.) Listening to only Christians music will probably put you in a better mood. Try it.

Challenge #2: Throw out all of your R-Rated movies. If the content of these movies are not appropriate for impressionable people because the content can get into their hearts, then what are you doing with them?

Challenge #3: Come to church every week for the remainder of the series. Simply being in church will change you.

Challenge #4: Commit to study the Bible. (on your own, in a Bible study, etc.)

2. Deal with personal hurt right away.
Many undesirable things in our heart come from personal hurt. Pull it out while it's small before it gets out of control.

Jeremiah 17:9a (NIV)
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.

2 Cor. 5:17 (Living)
When someone becomes a Christian, he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same anymore. A new life has begun!

If you want His help, you have to ask Jesus to come into your life and forgive you of all of your sins. You have to pledge your life to Him.

If you have a weed in your garden and you don't do anything about it, the root will grow deep and will grow over your plants, mulch, flowers, etc. If you don't guard your heart, these negative things in life will take over your heart. Each week, the pastor will go into detail about each aspect (anger, jealousy, lust, greed, fear and unforgiveness.)

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If you are interested in attending Parkway Fellowship, their website is http://www.parkwayfellowship.com/ It is a very casual church (jeans, flip flops, etc.) It is also nontraditional with contemporary music and a live band. Service times are 9:15am and 10:45am. Below is a schedule of the sermons in this series.

Sept. 26th - Getting to the bottom of anger.

Oct. 3rd - How to stop jealousy in its tracks.

Oct. 10th - Finally finding freedom from lust.

Oct. 17th - How to overcome the need for greed.

Oct. 24th - Putting away fear.

Oct 31st - Unforgiveness - The biggest of them all.

Wishing you a wonderful day!

Tammy

Red & White Tortellini

About 2 weeks ago, I decided to spend an entire day preparing meals and then freezing them, that way I do not have to spend every evening cooking. I got several meals knocked out in one day. But trying to find meals that please everyone (well, I should say Kyle, my husband) is very difficult. Kyle claims he is not a picky eater, but those of you who know him well enough know that he is a very picky eater. If it is healthy, he does not like it. If it has vegatebles (other than green beans) he does not like it. (Tomatoes, onions, peppers, cream of mushroom soup, etc... don't even think about it!!) So, I am here to share with you a VERY simple recipe that got 4 thumbs up (1 for each of us!) :) The kids both cleaned their plates. Tayler scarfed hers. (This is very easy for a toddler to eat!) and Colton asked for seconds. To my surprise, Kyle liked it and even said he would like to have it again. So, if he liked it, it must be good!! So, here is the recipe incase you are looking for a simple dish.

This recipe is a large amount. I actually halved it. Here is the original (large amount) recipe.


Red & White Tortellini

Serves: 8

Ingredients:
2 (10 oz.) packages refrigerated or frozen cheese tortellini, uncooked.
28 oz. jar spaghetti sauce
1 cup water
12 oz. jar alfredo 4 cheese sauce
1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
1 lb. fully cooked meatballs (1 bag)

Directions:
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- In a bowl, mix together spaghetti sauce and water.
- In a 3 qt. glass baking dish, pour in tortellini and meatballs.
- Pour spaghetti sauce mixture into glass baking dish. Make sure tortellini and meatballs are fully coated with sauce.
- Use a spoon to drop the alfredo cheese sauce over the casserole.
- Sprinkle with mozzarella cheese.
- Cover tightly with foil.
IF YOU ARE GOING TO FREEZE IT, FREEZE HERE.

To Cook:
(If frozen, thaw in refrigerator over night.)
- Bake covered on 350 degrees for approximately 45 minutes.
- Uncover and bake 10 more minutes or until tortellini is tender.


It has only a few ingredients and super easy! I like to use flavored spaghetti sauce (like garlic and herb) for extra flavor.

Enjoy!

- Tammy

Where I Learned To Sew...

Several people recently have asked me where I learned to sew. Many people who know my mom assume I learned from her. My mom is very crafty but she does not know how to sew, so no, I did not learn from her... or anyone else for that matter...

When I was pregnant with Tayler, I suddenly became... what is the proper word.... a domestic mommy. I wanted to make things, especially blankets. There were a couple of people who had given us hand made baby blankets for Colton and I really wanted to be able to make something for them as kids that they could cherish until they were older. So, Kyle bought me a sewing machine from Wal-Mart but I had to promise I would actually use it. I have always been an independent learner - I hate group work (I would much rather do it by myself so I know it's done right!) I have also been very good at teaching myself things I need to know. (This is probably why I enjoy all of my online classes so much.) So, I got the instruction booklet out for the sewing machine and read it to figure out how to use it. I was surprised at how easy it was! So, I started looking at things, their shape, their seems, etc. and just kind of figured it out on my own visually.

A year and a half ago I didn't really know who I was. I had no hobbies, I had no friends, I had no free time and if someone asked me what I like to do "for fun" I would draw a blank. I don't feel that way anymore. For once, I have a hobby. Sewing (and crafting) is a hobby that I absolutely love. I sometimes find myself up until 4am sewing because I have lost track of time. For me, it is very relaxing. Maybe you know what I mean... some people enjoy reading, gardening, exercising, painting, etc. For me, I enjoy sewing. (Granted I do get frustrated when I have a problem and I don't know anyone who knows how to sew, but I just get out my handy dandy instruction booklet and read until I can solve the problem.) It is just very relaxing. There is just something very fulfilling about taking something from nothing to something finished and seeing people amazed at what you have accomplished. It makes me feel kind of like an artist! The feeling I get seeing my son so attached to the pillow and blanket that I made him breaks my heart (in a good way! You moms out there know what I'm talking about.)

(Did I mention I even made our curtains?! I could not find the right type of curtains the right size to keep the heat out in the hot afternoons. So, I loaded up the kids, went to store and bought fabric and Wala! Within a few days we had insulated curtains to keep the heat out!)

So, now that I have the sewing down, I would REALLY REALLY REALLY like to learn how to crochet!! I have seen such cute beanies and baby booties that are crocheted. I would really like to be able to make the kids some cute beanies for this year (in case we get snow for the 3rd year in a row! *wishful thinking, I know*) So now I just need to figure out how to start. It's not like a sewing machine that comes with instructions. I wonder if there is an instruction booklet on how to start crocheting? If you know, please let me know!!

So anyways, that is how I learned to sew and I absolutely love it. I know, I am such a mom. When I look back on my life the past few years, it is amazing how much I have changed. I will be 25 this week. It seems like it was just a few months ago my mom took me to NY for my 21st birthday when I was 7 months pregnant with Colton. Becoming a mom has definitely changed my life. I was forced to grow up before I even knew what it really meant to be a grown up. So, my life might be very different than typical people my age, but I love it. Learning to love my life is something that I have had to work at. Of course I love my children, but it has been very difficult watching so many people graduate from college and start their careers and I have not even finished college. But then I realized something very important. Being a mother is more difficult than any job there is. And when I do finish college (in 9 months!) I will not only have a college degree, but I will get to accept my diploma while my 2 beautiful babies watch me!! So, on that note, I am so happy to have "found myself" and appreciate where I am at in my life and I am also proud to sew baby items!! :)

P.S. I kind of got off on a tangent - Sorry! But thanks for reading!

Love,
Tammy

Another Project Complete

Liam, my nephew (Jenn's son) is starting preschool tomorrow. They have to bring their own nap-time mat so Jenn bought a KinderMat (a plastic mat.) Then she asked me if I could make a sheet for it, as well as a pillow and blanket. This was the first time I have made something like this so as always, I definitely learned a lot from the first attempt about what to change if I make one again. Here is the finished product. (I hope she liked it!)

My newest project

As many of you may or may not know, I love to sew and am always looking for new things to make.

My kids are at the age where I can get by running an errand without needing a huge diaper bag. However, I can't take the chance of Tayler having a messy diaper, so I just stick a diaper and travel size wipes in my purse. But then the diaper gets all squished. So, I made this diaper pouch as a solution.

These diaper pouches will be carried at Mimosa Rose in assorted designs. For those of you who do not know, Mimosa Rose is a gift & accessories boutique that my mom will be opening in the Katy/Richmond/Fulshear area next month.

My Baby Girl

Tayler is now 14 1/2 months old. She started walking at 10 months and now chases after Colton and runs (literally) away from me, especially when she knows she has something she is not supposed to have! We call her the "trash-digger" because she LOVES digging in the trash! She also loves trying to suck on markers that Colton leaves out and chewing the round ends off of puzzle pieces. She also loves carrying around my purses and digging through my jewelry and makeup.She is a water baby. She absolutely LOVES water. She loves baths and gets very angry when her bath is cut short. She loves splashing the water and does not mind it getting in her face. One night she got so crazy and excited in the bath that she fell and chipped her front tooth on the side of the tub. :( She babbles a lot and is trying very hard to talk. She can say mama, dada, bubba, pup, ball, bane (for blanket) and has even said what appears to be "what is that". She also understands a lot. If she has a dirty diaper and I ask her if she has poopoo, she runs away from me holding her butt. When you ask her where her bottle is or her animal, she will go pick it up.

As you can see, my baby girl isn't a baby anymore. :(