A New Perspective on Me

When I originally starting blogging a while back, I primarily did it to keep people informed on my life and my children, people I may not see or talk to often. But then I felt like no one was reading my blogs so I slowed down on them. Someone recently told me that the reason they blog is because they enjoy writing even if no one reads them; they write for themself. I never considered this, I guess because I never thought as myself as a writer.

This past summer, one of the courses that I took focused on how to implement reading and writing workshops into your classroom. (For those of you who are unaware, I am currently in school to be a teacher [Pre-K through 6th grade.]) One very important thing that I learned in this class was that if I want to be an effective reading and writing teacher, then I need to actually be a reader and writer. I really struggled with this idea this summer. I have never really enjoyed reading or writing “for fun” even though it has always been my strongest subject. I did not know how to become a reader or a writer. I read that it is important to keep a writer’s notebook and as a teacher share your writing with your students. A writer’s notebook? What am I even supposed to write about!? In this course, we had to work in groups and read and critique our group members’ work. I would get so frustrated because no one would ever give me constructive criticism. They always had positive things to say, which I appreciated, but I was taking the time to help others so why was no one else helping me? I discussed the issue with my teacher and he suggested that maybe there just isn’t anything noticeably wrong with my papers. In this particular course, we had to compose lesson plans for a thematic unit on poetry. At the end of the unit, one member of my group sent me an e-mail saying that she thought that I would be a great reading and writing teacher and learned a lot from reading my work.

What is interesting is that when I first decided to be a teacher, I had no desire to teach reading and writing. I disliked it so much that the thought of teaching it every day worried me. However, I have learned so much about being a successful reading/writing teacher and what has caused my dislike for reading and writing that now I actually look forward to being a reading/writing teacher because I know what to do differently than the teachers that I had did.

The other day I submitted my first assignment for a science instruction class that I am taking. The teacher responded with “You are a writer!” Huh? She thinks I am a writer? Wait. I am a writer! This is probably why I love my online classes that require papers instead of quizzes and exams. I realized that the author from the textbook who suggested to practice writing didn’t mean writing stories, books, etc. Writing can be in any form and even the form of what I am writing now. My husband sometimes tells me to slow down and take a breath and that I am “always” talking. I have so many thoughts and so much knowledge and excitement for things that I am learning that I have realized I just want and need to share them! Even if it is in a piece of writing that no one will read, I need to express my thoughts.

I might sometimes blog about personal happenings but I will also blog about things that I simply want to share with anyone who is willing to read about them. I have realized that I do actually enjoy writing; I just needed to figure out what to write about. (I am still working on the whole reading thing! :) )

My mom recently told me that I have changed a lot since I got married. I have changed A LOT over the past 2 years and I do realize this. But I think that these changes have been due to many things. I am growing up. I am now a wife and a mother to two children. When I got pregnant at 20 years old, it definitely was not in my plans. It changed me so much and has made me such a mature independent woman. Being a mother is very fulfilling, but for me personally, it just isn’t enough. Many women are very content with being stay at home moms and would have it no other way. If a woman is happy taking care of the home, more power to her! I have nothing against lifelong stay at home mothers. If I was married to a millionaire of course I would choose not to work! But let’s face it, I’m not married to a millionaire. (No offense, Kyle. J ) I personally have a lot of goals, other than being a mother, which I would like to achieve. I want to graduate from college. I am on my way to becoming a professional educator. If my husband were to die, I am at an age where living off of his life insurance would not be enough for my children and me to survive. I have to make sure that I am in a position that I am confident I could take care of our family on my own if I had to. I have taken courses that deal with psychology, growth and development, diverse cultures, how people learn, how to effectively communicate, and much much more. I have changed a lot in the past 2 years because I have become educated and prepped to become a professional independent working woman, who just so happens to be a mother and a wife. I used to feel like being a mother was all I was. I didn’t know who “Tammy” was anymore other than “mommy.” I felt like I had given up who I was and my dreams to be a mother. I do not feel that way anymore. I know exactly who I am and what I want out of life, which I will strive to achieve. So yes, I have changed a lot, but it’s because I have become an adult.

I look forward to sharing my life, my random thoughts, my knowledge and maybe some hobbies with you. I thank you in advance for taking the time to read my writing.

I plan on updating the layout as well as the pictures on my page throughout the week. If you have a blog, please let me know so that I can add you to my list of people to follow so that I can receive updates when you post. Also, if you read my page and enjoyed reading something, please do not hesitate to leave a comment.

Love,
Tammy