Easter

Here are a few pictures that I forgot to load from Easter...

My little baby isn't a baby anymore :(

Eatin' that candy!

Almost Done!!!

I'm *almost* done with school!!!!! 6 classes down.... 1 left! This past week, I have written 4-30 page reports, 3- 5 page essays and done numerous assignments and projects. I have been completely burried in school work for the past week and a half. I just finished my last essay final, which was very difficult for me to write... I am so mentally drained that I had an extremely difficult time putting clear thoughts together. I have one final left, but it is not due until next Thrusday, so I will study for it next week.. I cannot handle anymore school work right now.

For those of you who don't know how difficult school has been for me, I will inform you on the numbers.... full time status is 12 hours. I took 21 hours this semester. What this means is... if I were in regular classes (not online) I would attend 21 hours of classroom lecture every week. In addition, I would be responsible for reading, doing assignments, and studying at home. Thus, because I am not in classes that I attend lectures, those 21 hours of lecture every week, I am responsible for teaching myself and still responsible for doing the additional reading, studying, assignments, etc. It has been a very overwhelming and stressful semester for me. However, so far I know that I have earned 5 A's!! Because I took so many courses this semester, it has allowed me to not take summer school so that I can adjust to having 2 children, and also take an easier school load in the fall. it has been rough, but well worth it.

Well, now I am off to pack our bags for the beach! Kyle should be home soon and as we are all packed, we will be leaving! I am very excited to have nothing to do but have fun with Colton. We bought Colton a Spider Man fishing pole the other night and he has been biting at the bit to play with it. We also bought him a Diego lifejacket, which he calls a backpack, lol! So, we will attempt to take him somewhere and fish (well, pretend to..... Not sure how well that rubber fishy will work! ha!)

Have a great weekend and I will post pics when I return!

p.s. Thanks for letting me ramble about school. I am just so proud of myself for not giving up. :) This is the first semester that I have stayed strong throughout the end, which is funny because it has been the most difficult having to self teach myself everything.

Chow! Adios! Ta ta!

Some much needed R&R

Today I approach the end of my school semester. I have officially completed 5 courses, all of which I have received an A in!! :) It has been a long, exhausting, stressful past 4 months. Today I will be working on a 4-essay final exam and will hopfully have it submitted by this evening, making it my 6th course completed. I have one final left, but it is not due until next Thursday, so I am not going to sweat on it right now... I am extremely mentall exhausted.

I am mentally exhausted from school and Kyle is exhausted from work. So, tomorrow we will be heading to mom's beach house for the weekend for some much needed R&R and also to spend quality time as a family. We have not had much quality family time and have not gotten out of the house so we are taking Colton to spend the weekend at the beach. He LOVES the beach. My mom took him a couple of weeks ago and since has been talking about how the beach house is fun. With the addition of a new baby in just weeks, the attention will no longer be all be on Colton, so we want to make sure we spend as much quality time as possible before it will be more difficult to just get up and go. Needless to say, we are all excited about getting away for a couple of days. Last night we went to Academy and got kites, Colton a fishing pole, etc.

I have to enjoy the weekend because next week starts the cleaning project. :( Our house is horribly messy because I have been focusing all of my time on school. Our house is in no condition for a baby and the baby room is not even a baby room. So, for the next few weeks, I will be Molly Maid. :(

Well, I am off to work on my essay exam... Have a great weekend! I know I will ;)

Almost to the end of the tunnel....

In reference to my previous post....

I have just finished and turned in all assignments for my 4 education courses!!! Wahoo!!!!! They are due on Monday but my teacher said that if we got them to her by yesterday, then as long as we have a 94 average, we do not have to take our finals next week. So, I have been up late every night and up early every morning this week trying to get everything done. I can now breathe a sigh of relief because I was able to get it all completed and turned in. Now I am just waiting to hear back on if I will have to take my finals. I am counting on not having to take them.... Thus, I am done with 4 of my classess!!!

Now, I will begin working on completing my assignments for a TX history class that I have. Between now and Sunday, I have 8 quizzes to complete, along with 2 papers. So, between now and Sunday night, I will be up to my next in TX History... :( However, after Sunday, that will be my 5th class completed!!! I then only have 2 courses left with a few minor assignments left that are not due for another 1-2 weeks. So, after Sunday, I can sit back, relax and breather. If I could drink, I can guarantee I would be having a few drinks.. ha ha.

Well, off to get in bed and start quizzes. I started having minor contractions again last night so I am going to try and stay in bed or on the couch all day.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.....

In 9 days (May 4), I will be finished with 5 of my college courses! In 13 days (May 8), I will be finished with the other 2 classes. So, in 2 weeks, this semester of college will be over!!! It has been such a tough semester... Trying to get back in the groove of school, taking 7 classes that I have to self-teach myself in, being married, being pregnant, being a stay at home mom... everything added up together has been so overwhelming and such a learning process. I am definitely ready for a break from the school part. :) The next 2 weeks are going to be very busy for me, trying to finish all my quizzes, exams, projects, etc. that are due. I am in the home stretch and can see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I am just trying to stay positive and focused and get through it!

So, this semester I am not going to take any college classes. I feel that I am in dire need of a mental break. So, in 2 weeks, I will be college free for 3 months!!! :) After this semester is over, Kyle and I are going to try to get away for a few days and have some quality family time. We never have time to do much as a family outside of the house so he is going to try and take a day or two off from work so we can go to the zoo, go to the beach, etc. I think it is really important for us to have family outings. Also, with a new baby coming very shortly, we want to spend as much quality time with Colton as we can now that he is the center of attention.

Even though I am really stressed out with school, things have gotten better in other aspects. I have been a lot better with Colton. I have been more patient, and more fun! On days that I have a lot of school work to do, the tv unfortunately becomes his main entertainment. I know this is very unhealthy and this will soon change. However, I have been taking more breaks to do things with him.. we play with bubbles outside, play with sidewalk chalk on the driveway, play baseball, play with play-doh, finger paint, etc. I also got him some new puzzles and books (he loves both!) so we often do puzzles together and "read" the books. I try to do as much as I can with managing my school work. I am really looking forward to putting him on a solid routine in a couple of weeks. :)

Unfortunately I have not been able to get the house in shape. However, Kyle took his try at it... Kyle recently applied for his FFL (Federal Firearms License) that will allow him to be a dealer of firearms. His application was approved so the ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms) came out to the house the other day to go over everything with him. Our house was very unpresentable. I have been hurting very badly (I'm sure many of you have heard I was at the hospital Tuesday morning for evaluations because I had been having contractions and my blood pressure was very very high.) Thus, since I have been hurting so bad, along with having so much school work to do, I have pretty much refused to clean until after I finish school. Even when I did clean, it was always frustrating because Kyle could not understand why the house was always a mess and could never tell when I did clean. It was always so frustrating to work so hard cleaning and then him not even be able to tell, or for him to wonder what I did all day. However, he got a taste of his own medicine this past week, and I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed sitting on the couch observing. :) Kyle cleaned for several days straight this weekend. One day he spent the entire day cleaning the living room. The next day, he was very disturbed, not being able to understand why it did not even look like he had cleaned. He was very upset about it, and I thought it was hilarious seeing him upset about it. He never understood until he was in the position of being the cleaner. He finally understood that even when you spend a lot of time cleaning, it is a 24/7 constant battle to maintain it. We ALL, especially Colton, just have way too much stuff. I cannot wait to be done with school so I can tackle this house and get it in shape.

Well, I am off to work on some quizzes that are due tomorrow. Just wanted to touch base and let you all know I am hanging in there.

Tayler is due in 9 weeks, so we can expect her in about 7!!! :)

Below is a picture of Colton cheesin' for the camera!

In a slump...

I haven't posted much lately, which I guess is due to nothing new or exciting going on...

So, I think I have kind of fell into a slump. I have been so stressed out and exhausted, for so many reasons...

- I cannot keep my house clean, no matter how hard I try.
When I do clean, it seems to go back to being a train wreck within a matter of 1-2 days.
When I do clean, my back hurts so bad afterwards and remains hurting for about a week.

- I am having an extremely difficult time staying afloat with 7 college courses, 5 of which are self tauhgt (online.)

- I feel like a bad mother because I do not have Colton on a routine because I feel like I always have so much other stuff to do.

- I have a baby coming in less than 3 months that I am no where ready for. Her room is only half painted (which isn't that big of a deal) but her room is still full of unused furniture and Kyle's junk. Our house is so small and lacks so much storage that we just do not have room for everything that we have. Thus, her baby furniture is still in storage.

- This pregnancy has been so hard on me mentally and physically and I still have almost 3 months left.
I was naucious and throwing up for almost 6 months straight. I am now naucious again and on medication for acid reflux. I have been hurting so badly. The dr. said that because I have already had a baby, my ligaments are like a rubberband, they have already been stretched so this time around, the baby feels much heavier because I do not have the support that I did the first time around. I have been so exhausted that I feel like I do not have energy for anything. If I do not get at least 10 hours of sleep, I feel tired and crappy and naucious all day.

- Sometimes I feel like a prisoner in my own home. With being on a single income, I am limited on the activities Colton and I can do on a regular basis that have costs. Sometimes it just gets mentally exhausting always being with a toddler, and only being with a toddler.... I eat with a toddler, play with a toddler, conversate with a toddler, use the restroom with a toddler, etc.

- Kyle and I struggle to be understanding of each other. Kyle works a lot, usually 60-70 hours a week. Most nights he does not get home until about 10pm (which is why I am home with a toddler so much, all day, every day.) He is exhausted from work all day and all he wants to do is chill in the quietness. However, when he gets home, all I want to do is talk because I have not had any adult conversation. It's really hard for us to come together because we both want such different things at the end of the day.

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So, this evening I was in class and part of our lecture discussed the pros and cons of high quality child care vs. poor quality child care and the effect it has on children. The discussion lead to the topic of children having a stronger bond with their mothers because the child is provided with a safe environment. The question was asked, "Why is it that mothers who work full time and their children go to daycare tend to spend more 'quality' time with their children?" No one really said anything and one girl answered "Maybe because they feel like their child will have a stronger bond with the teacher since they are with her more." The teacher asked, "anyone else?" I sat there debating on if I should answer. I slowly raised my hand. "I think it is because when you are at work all day away from your children, it makes you miss them more and appreciate the little bit of time that you have with them more." I lead on to say "I used to work full time and my son was in daycare. I am now home with him every day. I am ashamed to say, but I do not spend nearly as much quality time with him that I used to. I think it is because I am with him every minute of every day and I don't have the time to miss him. I also get wrapped up in the things that I need to do and our daily routine of being together, that I just forget to appreciate the time together." The teacher thanked me for my response. It got me thinking, a lot. Colton used to be in daycare and was in a learning environment. Now, he is at home and we don't do educational activities on a daily basis. I have taught him his colors, which I am very porud of. However, I feel like the tv has been his entertainment entirely way too much. Don't get me wrong, he has learned A LOT from watching tv. (I do select which shows he watches, all of which are educational, with the exception of Sponge Bob that he loves and gets to watch on occassion.) I have felt pretty down in general just from everything that I feel like I am responsible for doing. To try and solve this problem, I have decided to try and set goals for myself...

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This weekend, I am going to try and develop a routine for the following that I will hopefully start next week....

- Develop a routine for housework. I am going to take Mrs. Stacy's advice and focus one day on a certain chore. (Ex: one day is laundry day, one day is disinfecting bathrooms, one day is colton's room, one day the master bedroom, etc.)

- Develop a daily routine for Colton and I (regular wake up time, nap time and bed time; regular meal and snack times; regular reading time, coloring time, art time, outside play time, and tv time which is when i will do my school works.)

- I am also going to check out some Mother's Day Out programs and part time day care programs to see what the costs are for colton to go a few days a week so that he can have interaction with other children.

- Try to get together with the few friends that I have on a regular basis.

These are a lot of goals, and very big goals, but i think if I implement them, I will start to feel better and less stressed out.


Thanks for reading and letting me vent! I feel a little better now.

p.s. I did not proof read this because it's too long and I am just too tired.

Adjusting...

It is 6:51am and I have been up for about an hour now. I am not used to ever seeing the clock read this time in the morning. On most days, Colton and I sleep til about 10, sometimes 11am. Toddlerhood has been great lately because Colton will almost always sleep in with me. I have been so exhausted lately that it works out great. For some time now, I have known that we need to get on a strict routine like he had when he was in daycare, it has just been so hard to wake up early! However, today is a new day! I woke up early today to fix Kyle's lunch for him for work. He has either not been eating or he eats out for lunch, which the 1st is very unhealthy and the 2nd is just getting expensive. So, when Colton and I went grocery shopping yesterday (which by the way, was a large task! Kyle and I always go shopping together. OMG never again will I go alone!! It was so hard occupying Colton and pushing a full basket with a 30 pound child in it! I was sweating so bad after getting out of the store and loading the car, not to mention my abs were sore from pushing such a heavy basket! Who knew grocery shopping could be such a workout!?) So anyways, I got stuff to fix Kyle's lunch for him so he atleast eats, or doesn't spend money doing so. So when the lights came on in the house this morning, Colton was up right behind me. I thought I could get up, fix Kyle's lunch, and then go back to bed. I was wrong. I'm sure I could get Colton to go back to bed with me if I wanted, but I think it's good we start getting up early and start eating and napping at the same time every day. However, I AM SOOOOO TIRED!!!! I am not used to having 5 extra hours in the day that I just don't know what to do. I could do school work, but my eyes are way to heavy for that! I could sew, but my mind is way too tired to focus! I could clean, but I have no energy for that! So, I just don't know what to do with myself being up this early. So, for now I will watch cartoons with Colton....

Have a great day!